Once upon a time I had a site that featured sexy models, sex stories, and anything about sex in the Philippines without crossing the line to outright pornography. I had a lot of fun managing the site but it required a lot of time to run and I eventually dropped it to do something else.
I did get to meet and interview a lot of interesting people though, one of which was Buwayahman.
Buwayahman has been a legend and a mystery in the adult entertainment scene for some time now. His blog Buwayahman.com is one of the premiere, shall we say, resources for anything about escorts, massage parlors, and wild parties.
“Been there, done that” as it says on his profile on his old Blogspot site.
I decided to drop him an email to see if he’d be amenable to an email interview and he was! So, without further ado, I present to you the man known as Buwayahman.
Is this something you really wanted to do or something that you just found yourself in?
Writing is something I have always enjoyed doing. In school, even as early as elementary level, I got some stuff published in school magazines and newspapers. I had fantasized writing novels and getting it published. But somehow, as I graduated and grew older, that dream diminished and grew fainter and fainter. Then I learned about blogging and WordPress. I realized that it was easy to get something “published” in the web!
Then I had to choose a subject matter. There were too many tech blogs out there. I wanted some focus, a niche so to speak. There were a lot of crass sex blogs out there—you know, people trying to emulate Penthouse forum and dishing out boorish anecdotes about their sexual escapades. I wanted to make a site that was intelligent and sophisticated. I honestly had no idea where this would take me.
Do you have any hobbies that you pursue in your spare time?
Aside from writing and my “extra-curricular activities,” photography is my other passion.
Why do you enjoy this particular hobby?
I guess one reason why I am “blogging” is because it is an example of how technology can be used to foster one’s creative juices. Photography is another such example. It’s a marriage of gadgetry and creativity.
Truth be told, there is no hidden meaning in my moniker. Buwayahman was an identity I created in an online role-playing game many many years ago when dial-up modems and prepaid internet accounts were the fad. I played an evil character and I chose the name Buwayahman because, well, buwayah is synonymous to corrupt.
Then I used the same moniker in several forums. The term then was “USENET groups”. I was asking questions, answering questions, and dishing out advice using the same ID. It sort of stuck since then. I have always considered creating another persona but it would mean establishing a whole new audience. I am actually amazed how many people know about me in adult internet forums.
I really didn’t plan to start a blog. I just went online, did a few research, and then launched my first “adult site” in blogspot. I think it was “Men’s Fun in the Philippines,” which later became “Philippines for Men”. When people began visiting and leaving comments and linking back to the site, I realized that people were actually reading my work!
Why start a blog about adult entertainment in the Philippines? Were you trying to make a point, educate people, share information, or did you have a different objective altogether?
At first it was to educate people. What I learned about the “adult world” was purely through experience and experimentation. I got into some really strange—sometimes even scary—situations. I made plenty of mistakes, fortunately nothing that scarred me for life. And I suppose that there are also people like me who want to experience the “adult entertainment” world but have no idea where to begin, how to go about it, what precautions to take, and what to avoid. When I started the site—which was called Philippines for Men, which I had to change because it sounded “gay”—I already had amassed so much experience, mostly on “solo flights” and on nights that I had to entertain corporate guests. I also have been “burned” so many times by the mistakes I made. Even my friends were already relying on me for tips—like where to go, how much to bring, and how to talk to the mama-san.
Then as I knew more and more PSPs, I wanted the site to correct some stereotypical misconceptions about sex workers. Many people like to label and generalize sex workers as sad, immoral, and depressing characters. I also wanted to establish that people who engage in adult entertainment aren’t necessarily sex-deprived perverts (though I admit some have called me as such), that there does exist the notion of a smart, sophisticated client.
Also, there is this notion that clients take advantage of the escort, that we are “exploiting” them. I want to dispel that notion. Many of these “Personal Service Providers (PSP)” are in the trade on their own volition. They volunteered for it. They chose to be in the trade. They weren’t fooled, scammed, coerced, threatened, forced, or held hostage. They are there in that line of work and they can choose to leave the profession anytime. I am not exploiting them. I am not taking advantage of them.
Lastly, I wanted to deliver the message that sex is natural and sex is fun. Sex is nothing to be ashamed of.
Does having a certain amount of notoriety online as the author of an adult entertainment blog get you in trouble with certain sectors (religious groups, law enforcement, etc.)?
So far (knock on wood) no trouble from law-enforcement agencies. I do get the occasional email from religious people who wish to point out that my soul is doomed. Once in a while I get an email from someone calling me a pervert.
How do you deal with it?
Most of the time, I just ignore it. Sticks and stones and all that. But sometimes, especially if I am bored, I start to point out their fallacious arguments. Then they shut up and go away.
Being Buwayahman do you get a lot of, shall we say, “proposals” from women wanting to hook up with you? What are your criteria if ever you do decide to entertain such a proposal?
I do get the chat messages and emails asking to meet but in many cases they are free-lance PSPs who are in need of cash. I am wary about free-lance PSPs. I can’t tell if I am being setup for something. My anxiety meter rises if the PSP is drop dead gorgeous but asks for a ridiculously low fee.
In reality there are very few women who personally know me as Buwayahman. I really make an effort to keep my persona a secret. Even the handlers who introduce me to their “talents” don’t mention me as Buwayahman. So when a few escorts, or a few ex-PSPs, call me, they call me as a previous client of theirs, not as Buwayahman. Most ex-PSPs call me because (1) they need the money or (2) they need a release. I guess I have already built a rapport with them.
The truth is I don’t get a lot of “proposals” from ladies who are not in the trade. In fact, I am surprised that I even got a couple of messages from ladies who want to meet me. Again, if their conversation skill isn’t to my liking, then I will politely decline. But if the conversation is enjoyable, open-minded on topics about sex and relationships, then I would consider meeting up.
Looks like you’re looking for brains aside from beauty. It seems you have high standards for your partners. Is it a mostly frustrating search where you end up settling for less or there are actually such women out there?
High IQ is really not a prerequisite but rather class and style. I am drawn to women who have the looks and the style. And not style as in expensive designer apparel but style as in a certain air of confidence, a certain manner of talking. A woman who talks about nothing but herself is a turn-off; a beautiful woman who talks about things that matter—art, science, current events—even if all she does is ask questions and listen attentively, that’s a turn-on.
And yes it can be frustrating. There is this one woman–she was beautiful and sexy—and I was willing to shower her with attention. But then, as I knew her more and more, as she revealed more and more of her character, as I read her FB page and her Twitter feed, she was extremely shallow and narcissistic, posting nothing but her “selfies.” When I attempted to talk to her about current events (it was election time), she did not care about and she had no opinion about it.
But there ARE women who are highly sexual AND who are sophisticated. There’s this one photo-shoot model who also moonlighted as an escort. She has left the industry, is now a successful entrepreneur, travels abroad for business, and runs a couple of outlets both here and overseas. And every time she’s here (or I’m there) we meet up for a few hours’ worth of “fun” and conversation. And she’s not just an exception. She’s not just an outlier. There are models out there, even escorts that have the “smarts” and the sophistication. Being, or having been, an escort does not make one uncultured.
Do you also get commercial offers like endorsing a product or something similar?
So far, no. If I do get offers, I am not sure if I would even agree to it.
I noticed that your site doesn’t have ads which tell me that you haven’t monetized your blog (unless you’re doing so in a way that I don’t know of). Is this a deliberate decision?
I don’t intend to monetize anything from the site. Making money is not my intention. It’s not really a deliberate decision. I guess it’s just that I am lazy to signup and insert the code. This site is really just a hobby of mine, something I do for fun.
Do you have any insight about the Philippine adult entertainment scene?
The scene nowadays is very very different from what it was when I was starting out. With the advent of social media, it is so easy to go out and try the adult entertainment scene.
Legalize prostitution: yea or nay?
Yes, I would opt to legalize prostitution, but I wonder how they will go about implementing it. For example, since adultery and concubinage are illegal here in the Philippines, I wonder how they will go about ensuring that the client is not married. Then of course there is the Catholic Church to contend with.
I do want it legalized not for the customer but for the PSP. There has to be some way that they can be protected against abuse.
What age did you lose your virginity and to who (no names needed), if I may ask?
It was in a massage parlor where I had my first sexual experience. I was barely sixteen, just into first year high school. I had heard about massage parlors but I really had no idea what happens inside.
How did you discover the Philippine adult entertainment scene?
Throughout my high school and college years, I was curious about the adult entertainment scene. I would see bars, clubs, KTVs, massage parlors, even the escort ads in newspapers. I obviously couldn’t afford to go to such places. I would do some part-time jobs and when I had saved enough money, I would visit a massage parlor or go to a bar. The bar/club/KTV scene would be tricky because of my age. I guess the GROs there could tell that I was a student and they wouldn’t get much from me.
But when I started full-time work, I began to accompany my office mates to the girlie bars in Quezon City and P. Burgos. I was then introduced to the concept of a “mama-san”, to such phrases as “to table a girl”, and “bar fine”.
Escorts I discovered all by myself. I saw the ads in Manila Bulletin, made a phone call, met up with a handler in a hotel room. The first few experiences were not good. Over the phone the handler promised someone who looked like a celebrity but when they arrived, she looked nothing like the promised celebrity. I lost so much in “cancellation fees”. This was before the internet got into the mainstream, before digital cameras became accessible, and way before smartphones with cameras so there were no pictures and I had to either trust the handler’s word or he would bring several escorts for me to choose. I grew uncomfortable with dealing with handlers and escorts and it was only when the internet became popular that I began dealing with handlers again.
In terms of frequency, how often do you solicit the services of an escort or frequent establishments like spas/clubs in, say a month?
Normally it’s my appetite for sex that dictates the frequency. My libido goes on overdrive if I don’t get sex at least once a week, of which I would resort to PSPs if I can’t hook up with any buddies out there.
Did you ever have a scary encounter (psychotic hook up, brush with the law, disease scare…anything of the sort)?
There was one encounter that I had wherein I got an escort from an online site. We met up in Sta. Mesa and I drove her to a nearby motel. She undressed and lay beside me. Then I noticed how frightened she was. She was on the verge of tears, shaking, covering her torso with her arms. I couldn’t go through with it and contacted the handler to back out of it. The handler told me that since I already saw her naked I had to pay, even if I did not consummate the arrangement. The handler told this to me in a polite, courteous tone but I could detect that, if I insisted not to pay, then the matter could escalate. I paid Php 10,000.00 to the escort but I did not do the deed. I figured that I’d rather lose the cash than feel like I abused the escort.
From experience (or hearsay), what’s the best place to find a possible hook up of the non-paying kind aside from bars and clubs?
My experience is that the other places to find a possible hook up is in any gathering where you share a similar interest. It could be a photography club, a charity organization, or a convention. I have found that one big factor is the chemistry between two people. If you share a common interest, then it would be easy to strike up a conversation. And once you have a conversation going, you have all the opportunities to flirt and drop subtle innuendos.
Is there a rule you go by when you’re out and about in the night, so to speak?
First, bring a condom. You never know if you’ll get lucky.
Second, go out with no expectation of getting laid in mind. Go out to have fun. Go out to meet people and know people. Going out to meet people makes you sociable; going out with the singular intention of getting laid makes you look desperate.
Did you ever experience falling for an escort/bar girl?
I admit that there are times when I have grown emotionally attached to an escort/bar girl. But I keep it in check.
Do you believe that it can ever work out between a regular guy and a girl from the “industry”? If so, know of any first hand stories? Heck, we’ll settle for second or third hand accounts.
I think that it can work out but the odds are extremely stacked against it. I know of a couple of cases where it did work out but I know of many many many more cases where it ended up a disaster. Heck, even a regular guy and gal has troubles maintaining a relationship, much more if one of them has some “history.”
What to do before soliciting the services of an escort?
Make sure you can afford it. It can be an expensive experience if you aren’t careful. Work within a budget and try not to deviate. Let your finances decide your choices and not the other way around. For example, if you set your budget at Php 10,000.00 and then you see a beautiful escort worth Php 20,000.00, don’t try and compromise your finances to pay Php 20,000.00.
What to do if you get caught in a raid (either in a gentleman’s club or a massage parlor)?
The best thing to do is not to panic and stay calm. Unless you are married, there is nothing to fear. Most raids are after the owner of the establishment, not the ladies and certainly not the customers. At worst, it may be that they will try to extort money out of you. I don’t think they can haul you to jail. Unless of course you were with a minor…
What are some important things to remember before heading out to paint the town red?
First, bring a condom. Again, you don’t know if you’ll get lucky.
Second, don’t bring a credit card. A credit card allows you to splurge beyond your budget and then there is the risk of credit card skimming. Bring cash. If you can’t bring cash, then that is a sign that you can’t afford to paint the town red.
What’s the single best advice you can give to a guy to improve his chances of scoring with a hottie?
My single best advice? RELAX. It’s a “nothing to lose, everything to gain” scenario. What’s the worst that can happen? Yes she can reject you but as they say—“nothing ventured, nothing gained.”